Why do we Self-Sabotage

I’m 2 years out of a 20 year addiction and I’ve spent these 2 years shifting out of my beliefs about myself and the way I see the world, putting my brain back to “normal” state of function, and erasing some of my major limitations and barriers that were holding me back from reaching my potential even if it’s just the tipping point of that potential. 

I know exactly what to do to get myself out of a funk, how to create happiness, change my emotions, eliminate pain as a barrier and to not let trolls and haters bring me to a state of panic and depression because they have you question yourself. 

What I’ve learned about my inner damaged child is that we may believe we’ve let go of things that don’t serve us but I find myself self-sabotaging with a thought, or lack of action, which led me to the title of this post. Why do we self-sabotage? 

The short answer? We haven’t truly let go.

The long answer? That will be different for each person. I’ll share with you my 7 signs of self-sabotage. 

1. I’m comfortable – If i’m too comfortable in my life, meaning I’m eating like it doesn’t matter or I’m binge watching TV, that’s a sign for me to get up and take action on things that will serve me. 
2. When I let haters, family, or strangers rent space in my head. I need to let GOD back in and tell the Devil to kick rocks and take SEVERAL seats.
3. When I let stress consume me whether it’s kids, homelife, or the day isn’t going as I waned, that tells me to center my breathing and stop letting small stuff get to me.
4. Another sign I’m Self-Sabotaging is when I feed into gossip and petty arguments, especially online because that shit is toxic and can take over like a drug.
5. When I’m judging myself too harshly. As a wife, mother, or human, let’s me know I can potentially spiral into a self-pity depressive state. I need to wake myself up and get back to basics.
6. When I make excuses for my behavior, my reactions, lack of empathy and so on, starts a cycle of comfortableness instead of awareness which keeps me uncomfortable because it keeps me accountable.
   
7. And finally, When I stop doing the basic things for long periods of time that saved me from my addiction in the first place such as journaling, writing, talking, reading, learning, expanding, serving, giving, and helping.

I don’t know you so I can’t say what you do that would make you self-sabotage. But I know the above many people can relate to them. But whatever it is that you do that doesn’t serve your body and mind is probably self-sabotaging to your dreams and goals and especially your sobriety if you’re in recovery or trying to shift out of bad habits. 

I watched a video that goes deeper into the psychology of it that may interest you. You can watch it here: https://inlpcenter.org/aha-process-self-sabotage/

Whatever it is though you can start to write things down and bring to your awareness the things that bring you down change your emotions in a negative way or change your behavior to the point you’re not being a rational human being. If you need help please reach out. No one should go it alone and asking for help isn’t a bad thing. I wouldn’t be where I am if I didn’t ask for help. 

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