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Dealing with anger can be hard. Much harder than dealing with stress. If you're dealing with stress you can watch the video I created for that below. That was the inspiration for this post.
Anger used to be the thing that kept me prisoner aside from my own thoughts. I was angry at my parents, the world, and god. During my active addiction I shunned God and had zero belief in his power. ( This isn’t a a biblical post don’t leave)
For me to deal with my anger, I had to do the hardest part of growth, which is taking full responsibility for where my life was and release the blame from my parents, the world, and even god. I had to even separate the trauma I had experienced in childhood and as an adult from the anger so I cold properly move on from the anger and deal with that first. Then I moved on to journaling about the trauma or talking about it with a friend or life coach.
See, the thing about trauma apart from all other emotional issues is the trauma and experience from that will always be there so getting rid of it will not be possible, but learning coping skills, and taking away it's power from your mind and body is where you take back control from what happened to you to it being an event that happened and not YOU anymore.
Back to the topic at hand.
First thing I had to realize is my parents did the best they could with what they had in their mental capacity and the tools they had available to them during my childhood.
So, when I released them from the blame I had placed on them for my own circumstances, my addiction, my lack of knowledge for money, mindset, business, communication or basically any skill I didn't have, all the blame shifted onto myself.
I then had to work on that. That’s a heavy burden to receive at once and when your mindset was shit like mine was at the time from all the mind numbing I did as an addict it was a lot to consume. But when you have a mindset plan that releases all that self-hate, self-anger, self-doubt, and insecurity you take back control where the anger and doubt once held control.
The 3 steps to releasing your anger is to:
- Release blame for those who raised you or you learned from that maybe didn’t do that great of a job.
- Take full responsibility for your life and where you are now.
- Work on the mindset that has kept you prisoner and in the life you don’t want.
Now if you’re struggling with more than just releasing the anger and you need to create some coping skill here are some things you can do to help you with that:
- Write down all the things that trigger anger, (people, places, and things). Then journal about why they create anger in your life. This is so you can try to eliminate the trigger or figure out why and get rid of the control the trigger has on you or create a boundary.
- Gain perspective on your anger. When you can talk it out with someone you can maybe gain new insights on why you’re angry and how to deal with it better.
- If you watch the video about stress then you can also use the breathing technique in that video for no less than 5 minutes each time you do it.
- And this is one that will be used for everything. You have to reframe your thinking. Which takes you back to 3 steps to releasing anger.
What I’ve learned throughout my shift is when I am able to talk through my problems or journal about them I have a bigger chance of creating the solution.
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